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Stop Trying To Make Shower Sex Happen – It’s Not Going To Happen

Via Flickr / Amy

Via Flickr / Amy

Turn on any sex-heavy HBO drama or CW vampire saga and you’ll get doused in the kinds of rambunctious sex that’ll make you permanently red in the face. Or, make you reevaluate what you once thought of as a sultry sex life. And then cause you to shoot daggers at your significant other sitting next to you on the couch. But the truth is, as sad as it may be, that half of those sexcapades aren’t doable. Even by us folks who consider ourselves well-traveled sexually.

One of those unrealistic moves is easily shower sex. Which, incidentally, isn’t too easy, no matter how limber you claim to be. Bathtub ledges only go up so high and tiled walls don’t exactly scream traction. Plus, who really wants all that soap invading every nook and cranny you’ve got?

It really doesn’t help that the hottest sex scenes we see often involve a steamy shower and naked bodies pressed up against foggy glass. But let’s all be totally honest, because all of that sexual pressure is just not cutting it. It’s pretty hot to live up to and equally disappointing to try out. If we could all just collectively agree how strictly movie-real shower sex is, we’d have a lot less of the slippery body parts and more of the positions we can’t hurt ourselves with.

 

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